Author Archives: metamegan

>Neti – Reprise

>Neti tip #1: You can greatly reduce the chances of pouring salt water down your throat by way of your nose, if you don’t try to see what you look like in the mirror while using a neti pot. Know that it looks really weird, and just keep your head down! (So I have read.)

Another advantage to the Neti pot is this: Threatening your children. Any complaints about any ailments and I just say, “You know what might help that? The neti pot. Want me to try it on you?” Last time I hear that complaint for a while!.

Oh, and I added another verse to my song. I think it will be the last, because I am ready to get this song out of my head. Because I was really missing singing “Down down baby, Elmo do karate.”

Oh Neti, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind! Hey Neti!
Oh Neti, you’re so gross, you’re so gross you blow my nose! Hey Neti!
Oh Neti, hit the spot, clean my nose and drain my snot!

Hey Neti, Hey hey hey Neti!

This cold has been around all month, and that’s a little long
Boogers, mucus, snot, now you’re in my song!
I’m miserable all right, this cold has done me wrong!
I want to sleep at night, so help me clear my nose, Neti!

Cause now the mucus spills, though skeptics say it won’t
My cold gives me the chills, baby please, baby don’t
Every night you still, leave me booger free, Neti!

Oh Neti, what a pity, I don’t understand
Which way to hold my head with the Neti in my hand.

>Oh Neti, You’re so Fine, You’re so Fine You Blow My Mind

>

Hey Neti, hey hey hey Neti!

Yes, I am known to seek alternative medicine at the acupuncturist office, and at the chiropractor and I will drink some nasty tea, and burn moxa, and whatever else, and I have had a lot of success with those doctors. But when they both mentioned I should get a neti pot for my sinus issues, I said politely, “Eww, no way, that’s kuckoo.”

But now that I have seen a neti pot on both Oprah and Martha Stewart, well, I changed my tune. And by that I mean, I continued singing the same tune that went like this, “Maybe I should get a neti pot, even though the whole concept is disgusting.” Except that sort of as a joke, I wrote “neti pot” on the list that Dave took to Target last Sunday. And he bought one! Not a sleek, modern teapot style neti pot that would look beautiful in my bathroom when I don’t have it stuck in my nose, but a sort of dorky plastic (see photo). It’s of the short and stout line of neti pots.

So, the Neti! It’s the best! And I am not even going to go on and on and on about snot and boogers, because I think I’ll save that for a later post.

Here is where I insert my hilarious rendition of Mickey, except with lyrics about my neti pot and mucus. Except, it’s late and I am working on my ORA-30926 problem, and doing point in time recoveries, blah! On the other hand, while I work on that, I might come up with a few phrases here and there***:

Oh Neti, You’re so Fine, You’re so Fine You Blow My Mind!
Oh Neti, You’re so gross, You’re so gross You Blow My Nose!
Oh Neti, Hit the Spot, Clean my nose and drain my snot!

Cause now the mucus spills, though skeptics say it won’t
My cold gives me the chills, baby please, baby don’t
Every night you still, leave me booger free, Neti!

Oh Neti, what a pity, I don’t understand
Which way to hold my head with the Neti in my hand.

*** Work in progress

>What Poise, What Grace

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I took this video at some point during the 10 day stretch that included Dave’s 8 day business trip, 2 sick days for me, Luke’s two sick days for potential swine flu that turned out to be a bad cold, and 2 snow days. I was never so happy to go back to work after 8 days at home. As you can see, we put that time to good use.

>Still Life: With Grape

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We had dinner at Murphy’s last Thursday because they have a TV and the Buff”s were on. Luke ordered the grilled cheese, for the last time. He didn’t like it because of the “bread” and the “cheese”. I have forbidden him from ordering it again, but I should really just be proud of him for ordering the fruit as a side dish instead of the french fries. Fully 25% of his fruit cup, though, was taken up by one grape. It was a really big grape. We were all marveling at it’s magnificence when it slipped out of Luke’s hands and onto the floor. The 5 second rule does not apply in bars though, so it didn’t get eaten. I did, however, agree that if he wanted to, he could bring the grape home and we could continue to think about how it’s the biggest grape we’ve ever seen. I told him to put it with the pumpkins, and he said, “If it gets exposed to the light! It is going to turn into a PRUNE!” I started to remind him that grapes actually turn into raisins, but it seemed silly, since this one would probably, actually, turn into a prune. Except now that I have taken 2 pictures of a grape, and written 214 words about it, I think I should probably just put it in the compost now and forget this whole thing ever happened. But first, the grape with a penny for perspective:

>And So It Begins

>Last year, when I decided not to get a ski pass, I had a knee injury and a 17 month old who was getting difficult to entertain in the lodge. I had visions of the two of us snuggled up together on cold mornings… visions of sewing, and crafting, and working out and reading while he napped. (In my visions, I’m really motivated and Jack is really tired.)

Apparently my visions also did not account for the fact that my sweet, sweet baby would be 2 by the time the ski season started. And that my knee might heal. And that Jack would want to do everything his big brother is doing.

A few weeks ago, I started to worry about the ski season, and what would happen when Dave and Luke left us every weekend morning. “Where Lukie go? Soccer? I go soccer?” Etc. I thought I was keeping my concerns mostly to myself, until Dave said he wasn’t planning on leaving today until Jack was safely napping, so it’s not just me.

With Jack asleep, and he skiers on their way up the hill, I headed down to the basement, put on my headphones and got on my exercise bike. I did get off, and stop, and readjust things a few times, so Jack can’t have been screaming his head off for long before I heard him. Right? I ran up to his room, and gathered him into my loving arms, and tried to console him like only a mother can. He put his head on my sweaty shoulder and said, “No! No like it! No like it! Daddy daddy daddy daddy.” Once I had a blanket barrier between my clammy arms and my poor, sweet, neglected baby, he feel back asleep. Then I decided to lay on the couch for a while and wallow in mild guilt. Apparently there are these things called monitors? I am going to look into the concept of setting one up in the basement, so I can hear crying over the sound of the bike or the sewing machine.

It’s only until March – Jack and I can get our 2010 season passes then. I think we will be ready for some spring powder days.

>Tackle Soccer

>I just finished playing tackle soccer with the bossiest tackle soccer player that you will ever meet. It was mostly kicking the ball from one end of the basement to the other and tackling the other player when you got there. You’d think that would be pretty simple, but a certain 2 year old seemed to think I needed a lot of direction.

“Momma! Kick it. Now run. Go go go Momma! Yea Momma! Good job. Now tackle me. Fall down, I tackle you. Get up now please. Run! Kick it!”

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Did I mention that he made me wear a fire fighter helmet the whole time? Every time I tried to chuck it somewhere, he noticed and made me put it back on. “Put on fire fighter helmet, Momma! Helmet on!”

And yes, I predict certain anonymous commenters will say I had this coming.

>Parenting Tips: Learning to Read

>Here is a little story for you about little preschool aged MetaMegan and little MetaMegan’s mom on a walk one day.

Little MetaMegan looking at graffiti: Mom, what does that say?
Little MegaMegan’s Mom: Oh, that? That says TRUCK.
… pause… pause… pause…
Little MetaMegan: Mommy? That word started with an F. So it must have said, “FRUCK”.

>Parenting Tips: Learning to Read

>I am walking a dangerous line here with Luke and his reading. Here it is: I cannot stop myself from laughing when he gets a word wrong. “The woodpecker uses his beak to hemmer… hemmer… hemmer.. hemmer? hemmer?!? hemmer? hemmer. Ohhhhhhh. Hammer.” (snicker, snicker.)

100% of the time Luke is laughing, but I fear for the time it doesn’t happen. It’s just so so funny to me.

I am an awesome mother!

>First: The Cake

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I was changing Jack’s diaper the other day and discussing, sort of over his head, that he may be susceptible to bribery in exchange for some potty training.  Possible M&M’s.  Possibly.  As Dave ad I discussed it a light-bulb went off over Jack’s head.  He grabbed his stomach and started writhing around and shouting, “I hungry!  Choklat!  I hungry, choklat!”  

And hence, the idea to make a chocolate cake for Jack’s birthday was born.  I went to my fave food blog and looked up chocolate cake, and I came up with two contenders.  One was too complicated and the other had coffee in it.  I went complicated.   Mmmm.  Complicated:  Chocolate cake with peanut butter icing underneath another layer of chocolate and peanut butter.
Due to the snow, I knew my favorite peanut-o-phile wasn’t going to brave highway 93 to join us so I sent her pictures of the cake throughout the day to torture her.  Good thing, because I can’t find the card reader today so we have to rely on the phone picture. My phone takes some good pictures! 
OK, I know everyone wants the recipe.  So here you go.  High altitude readers:  I subtracted one tablespoon of flour, and  I used one 1.75 teaspoons baking soda.  However, I have also made another cake from Sky High before, and I didn’t adjust it at all.  
For the record, blogging about the recipes I make from a food blog that I read, is sort of meta.