Category Archives: Jack

>I’m All Better

>Jack’s new thing is to throw a kicking, screaming, thrashing-about fit until he suddenly takes a deep breath and says, “I’m all better.” Sometimes we get, “I feel better now, Mommy.” I really admire his ability to switch gears and pull it together. What is particularly interesting though, is when I am carrying him under my arm to his room because he hit or kicked someone. Usually at this time he is remorseless and unconcerned. When I set him down on the floor he just looks at me and says, “I feel better.” as if that’s his free pass to get out of his room. It’s at times like these that I say ridiculous parenting jargony things like, “You aren’t in time out for how you FEEL you are in time out for what you DID. Do we hit people?” Then he says, “Yes.” And I say, “No we don’t. Is it OK to hit?” And he says, “Yes.” And so on.
Fortunately for everyone, Jack’s adorable, cute, sweet moments are outweighing the tantrumy ones.

>Call the Wah-mbulance, I am Sick Again

>For the second time in less than a month, I have a fever, along with some sort of cold.

Yesterday, I was taking my temperature (100.4) and Jack was cracking up. “Dat doesn’t go der! Dat doesn’t go der!”

Dave and Luke were looking at each other quizzically because they had no idea what he was saying. I took the thermometer out of my mouth to say, “He is saying, That doesn’t go there. About the thermometer”

Luke asked, “Where does it go?”

Jack replied with a huge smile, not able to believe the collective silliness of his family members. Who doesn’t know where a thermometer goes? “It goes in your ELBOW!”

>Words I Hoped to Never Type

>I had to remove food from a child’s nose today. This has always been one of my big parenting fears. A child that puts something in his nose, gets upset, inhales it into his sinus cavity, trip to the emergency room, trauma, etc. Or worse, I have to do what I once read: get them to close their mouth and then suck whatever is stuck in their nose out with your own mouth. Sick, I know. But I needed a backup plan in case we were camping and the terrible situation occurred. I did a lot of planning and worrying about this eventuality as you can tell. Actually, it’s sort of weird that I have always been so worried about this sort of thing because Luke would never, ever put something in his nose. Jack. That sums it up.

But this evening’s experience was actually easy to deal with because it was just noodles, and they were still sort of hanging out. So first I had a minor heart attack when I saw the dangling noodles, then I yanked them out, then I ran and got the bulb sucker and pinned him down to make sure I got everything. I mean, I was pretty sure I got everything, but I sort of thought a little suffering at the hands of the bulb sucker would get the point across.

One parenting fear: Handled.

>Winter Sports

>This is Luke, rocking the half pipe in Sean White Snowboarding. To make it more challenging, I quizzed him on his spelling words while he played, and he did surprisingly well. Of course he had to spell “property” 3 times because I wasn’t actually capable of taking a picture and listening to him spell at the same time.

In other news, for non facebook friends: Jack was playing ball in the basement and when he got the football stuck in the basketball hoop, he said, “Oh no! Strike!”

>Morning Time

>The Characters:
Jack – a toddler.
MetaMegan – A Momma

The Setting: Early Sunday morning. The sun has not yet risen. The scene is bleary, slightly out of focus. A toddler whines in the distance, slowly becoming louder. The scene comes into focus.

“Momma, change my diaper please. I stinky” (Picture a tragically sad toddler face. Filled with regret.)

“OK.” (MetaMegan sniffs, pats his bottom.) “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I stinky. Puh-wheeze change my diaper?” (Looks hopeful.)

“Ok.” (MetaMegan sighs. Heaves Jack out of the crib. Jack runs off and starts playing.)

“Wait! Get back here! Your diaper!”

“No – I not so stinky anymore. I play.”

End scene.

>Bedtime

>”Jack, who do you want to put you to bed? Do you want Mommy to put you to bed or do you want Daddy to put you to bed?”

“Puppy put me to bed.”

>Nuffin

>I left a room and when I returned Jack looked up with a devious look on his face. He said,

“Nuffin.”

“Nuffin, what Jack?”

“Nuffin in my mouf.”

“What was in your mouth that isn’t there now.”

“Um. Cake.”

>Star Wars with Thesaurus Boy

>Jack has spent the last two days asking me to open the puppy gate, going downstairs, getting one Star Wars action figure out of Luke’s room, coming back upstairs, asking me to open the gate, and running over to play with the action figure at the dining room table. I think the Star Wars figures have seen more action in 2 days than in the 2 years they have been under Luke’s care. And the whole process has been keeping Jack very busy.

Plus, it is so cute when he rests his hand on my knee and says, “Mom. I need go downstairs get Star Wars. Open gate pease?”

Also cute? When he calls Chewbacca by the similar sounding name of Baracka.

In other Jack news, he woke up a little on the crabby side from his nap again today and I offered him a cookie and milk. I said, “How about this cookie? It’s the biggest one.”

He had a few bites and said, “Dis cookie huge? Dis cookie huge!” (pronounced hooj)
A few more bites and, “Dis cookie giant.”

So now we are working on enormous, titanic, and jumbo.

>It’s A Good Thing Jack Can Talk

>Monday, it snowed and I worked from home, because… why not? The Honda had been in need of new tires for a while, and the van was covered in snow. Tuesday I took the van so that Dave could get new tires on the Fit. That means I was the last person to use the van key. That’s singular folks: as in key. We have one key.

So when Dave called me at work on Thursday because he wanted to drive somewhere and did I know where the van key was? I had to just heave a huge sigh because no. I didn’t. I looked in my purse and pockets and then started lamely suggesting places to look, all obvious, all places Dave had already looked. But wait! What was I wearing on Tuesday? Check in those pants. Never mind, those were the pants I was wearing that day too. It’s OK – he didn’t really need to run that errand, but I was going to need to find the key because I was the last one that had it.

When Dave mentioned it Friday, I started to look in “the drawer” (you know the one) and Dave said, “It’s insulting that you would even look there. I said, “What? I’m looking for chapstick. I can’t look for the van key with chapped lips. Oh good! Here it is. Now I can apply some chapstick and then look for the van key.” But really, I had to start there. I have a system when I am looking for something. Drawer, tray, desk, nightstand, bathroom, dresser, drawer, tray desk, nightstand, bathroom, dresser. I just have to keep repeating that pattern and praying to St. Anthony until I get an inspiration and find what I am looking for. Like when I found the ibuprofen in cabinet with the wine glasses. Nothing Friday, but I started to have a memory of Jack playing with the van key. Maybe I left it on the counter… etc.

Saturday, Dave said, “Where’s the van key?” And I said, “Jack had it last. 5 days ago.” And Dave said, “Where’s the van key, Jack?” And Jack said, “I put it in the bench.”

Dave and I raced to the bench and started rummaging through hats and coats and mittens and there it was.