Category Archives: Typical Day

>We’ll Take Great Care of Your Kids, I Promise!

>But we might draw eyes on their necks and take silly pictures.

Yes, this could happen to your kids if you go out of town and your kids spend the night at Casa de MetaMegan.


But I promise to scrub your kid’s neck with a brillo pad, if that’s what it takes, so they don’t show up at school with lipstick and marker everywhere. Because I take my job as a surrogate parent very seriously.

>What Poise, What Grace

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I took this video at some point during the 10 day stretch that included Dave’s 8 day business trip, 2 sick days for me, Luke’s two sick days for potential swine flu that turned out to be a bad cold, and 2 snow days. I was never so happy to go back to work after 8 days at home. As you can see, we put that time to good use.

>Still Life: With Grape

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We had dinner at Murphy’s last Thursday because they have a TV and the Buff”s were on. Luke ordered the grilled cheese, for the last time. He didn’t like it because of the “bread” and the “cheese”. I have forbidden him from ordering it again, but I should really just be proud of him for ordering the fruit as a side dish instead of the french fries. Fully 25% of his fruit cup, though, was taken up by one grape. It was a really big grape. We were all marveling at it’s magnificence when it slipped out of Luke’s hands and onto the floor. The 5 second rule does not apply in bars though, so it didn’t get eaten. I did, however, agree that if he wanted to, he could bring the grape home and we could continue to think about how it’s the biggest grape we’ve ever seen. I told him to put it with the pumpkins, and he said, “If it gets exposed to the light! It is going to turn into a PRUNE!” I started to remind him that grapes actually turn into raisins, but it seemed silly, since this one would probably, actually, turn into a prune. Except now that I have taken 2 pictures of a grape, and written 214 words about it, I think I should probably just put it in the compost now and forget this whole thing ever happened. But first, the grape with a penny for perspective:

>Leaves

>Note the time. I had already been up for 2 hours when I took this picture. I started to shut down databases and applications, and I watched the scripts run on part of my screen, while on the other part, I watched Weeds while I pedaled my exercise bike. I had the pancake mix almost totally ready to go on the griddle before the boys woke up at 6:45. I was feeling pretty good about things until my big stack of pancakes fell over and I realized it was going to be a really long day.

Dave was not yet awake when I took this picture, but I can’t complain because he did some serious yard work today.

>Who’s The Pig?

>No, that isn’t the intro to my swine flu post. Not yet, it’s too soon.

Dave has been out of town for, a month? I don’t know I lost track. But Jack was talking to him on the phone last night, and I heard Jack say, “I love you.” It sounds like, “I nuv you” henceforth referred to as INU. Then he starting saying stuff like, “Dwandma?” and I think he was confused because he couldn’t tell whether to talk to Dave or to the navigational system in Dave’s rental car. I had to get to the bottom of the INU because it’s just so sweet and I am tracking unprompted INUs. Sure, he’ll say it in response but it’s the random INUs that are the best. I mean, when he says them to ME they are the best. I assume. It’s only happened once.

So when I got back on the phone…

Me: I heard Jack say he loves you.
Dave: That’s because I said it to him first.
Me: Oh, because today Jack held up the Little People Farmer and the Little People Pig and then said, “I nuv you” and then he said, “tiss” and he had them kiss.
Dave: Aww, cute. We must be modeling loving behavior for him.
Me: Who’s the pig?
Dave: What?
Me: Who’s the pig?
Dave: What?
Me: I said the FARMER was kissing a P I G!
Dave: I thought you said the farmer was kissing his wife.
Me: We don’t have a farmer’s wife little people person.
Dave: What? Sorry… I? Can’t hear…You’re breaking up… I love you!

Sure.

>Signs: Ignored

>Thinking backwards in chronological order, the signs I missed are thus:

1.) We had so much time to get to the bus that Jack and Luke and I all walked. Jack has never walked to the bus, there is no time for his meandering style. I only walk occasionally. Usually it’s a jog, sometimes a sprint. We left the house 2 minutes early today. Two. Whole. Minutes.

2.) Luke was watching a little TV with his hat, and coat and backpack on before we left. Usually, our race to the bus involves a sort of relay where the baton is in the form of Luke’s backpack and half of his outerwear, that I try to assemble on him as we are running.

3.) I flipped through a magazine for a bit once everyone was ready. Really.

And what did these three signs not tell me? Then did not tell me that I had forgotten something.

Dave is halfway through his 8 day business trip, and this morning I was about 44 hours into what I thought was a 24 hour illness. I did manage to eat something for breakfast, and I was as excited about that as someone who has had 5 crackers and a banana in 2 days can be. At lunch I decided to attempt some peanut butter on a cracker.

But the peanut butter was mysteriously not on the counter. It was… in the cabinet? That doesn’t sound right. That must mean I… I… OMG What did I pack for Luke’s lunch? Think! Think! OK, Milk. A cupcake. Half an apple. Ok, that’s all I’ve got.

And then our morning frantic freakout happened at 11:30 instead of 7:25. OMGIneedtomakea sandwichthebreadisn’tdefrostedpopitinthetoasterandgetpantsonJack. JackhaspantsneedsshoesthebreadisupmakethesandwhichwearealmostoutofhoneyOMG. Pause. Would it occur to Luke to get the hot lunch? Nohe’llcomehomestarvingandangryandcrabbyandmissinghisdadfinishthesandwhich.
ThrowshoesandajacketonJackgrabthekeysandcellphonerunoutthedoor.

I didn’t know when lunchtime really is, so we ended up getting to school 10 minutes ahead of time. Jack and I sat on a bench and smiled at people for 9 minutes after I finished tying his shoes and buttoning his jacket. Then we met the first graders as they came in, and we sat with Luke while he ate some of his lunch.

It was delightful.

>Mr. Noonle

>I spent a good part of Friday complaining to various people that Jack was suddenly afraid of Mr. Noodle and how this was a huge problem because I count on an hour of Sesame Street on Fridays to get through my work from home day. Probably, if I had spent that time working, instead of complaining, I wouldn’t be procrastinating working right now on this sunny end of summer holiday weekend. But then I wouldn’t be blogging as a way of procrastinating, and not everyone would get to hear/read about Mr. Noodle.

Did I just blow your mind?

So it used to be that as soon as Mr. Noodle came on, during Elmo’s world, in the last 15 minutes of Sesame Street, I had to turn off the TV. No big deal. But Friday, I turned on the TV at the very beginning of Sesame Street, and as soon as the first non muppet appeared on screen, Jack said, “No! No Noonle. T.B. OFF!” Sigh. I turned off the T.V. and started complaining.

I was still complaining 9 hours later when we sat down to dinner and had this conversation.

Me: Luke, Jack is afraid of Mr. Noodle.
Jack: No Noonle!
Luke: Who’s Mr. Noodle?
Me: You know Mr. Noodle, he’s sort of a vaudeville type of old fashioned clown? He’s on Elmo’s world.
Luke: Never heard of him. Jack, do you like Mr. Noodle?
Jack: Yesh.
Me: Argh! I know you know who he is!
Luke: Nope.
Jack: T.B. Off. No Noonle.
Dave: Luke, you know Mr. Noodle. He’s the one who has the brother, Mr. Noodle
Luke: (Lightbulb!) Oh yeaaaaaah.

>Easter

>At some point last week, I was instant messaging Dave, and I said, “Do you really think we’ll be able to get up, find Easter baskets, have an Easter egg hunt, make it to church by 9:00 am, then head straight to Eldora for the last day of the season, and still make it to dinner at our friends by 5:00?” He said, “Sounds great!”

And that was before the impromptu egg dying, card playing, movie watching marathon that resulted in Dave having to stay up until midnight making cauliflower pie on Holy Saturday.

I can’t even remember which night we were up with Jack between 4 and 5:30 and which night Luke’s alarm woke me up at 3:30 am, after it had been going off for an hour. Long story short, everyone was tired on Sunday morning, and I let Dave stay in bed while the boys looked for their baskets. With the combination of staying up too late and having candy for breakfast it came as no surprise that we went from Easter morning joy, to finding the baskets, eating breakfast, playing, and finally, sobbing in less than 50 minutes. Right on schedule.

Luke found Jack’s basket right away but couldn’t find his own basket. Jack found my basket right away and had no desire to look for his own. Why bother looking for your own basket, when you can just climb on top of the table and eat Mama’s candy? (The Easter Bunny does not hide my basket.)

From April2009

In this video, I learn that Jack can say chocolate. (Dave told the daycare that Jack likes jelly beans, which gave all the other parents the chance to say that their children have never had jelly beans. Bad Dave!)

Once Jack finally found his basket, he wasted no time stuffing his little chipmonk cheeks with candy:

From April2009

It was hard, believe me, to come up with the perfect outfit that would transition from Easter Sunday mass to skiing to dinner with friends. Dave did well with long underwear under his nice jeans. Exchange the jeans for snow pants and voila!

From April2009

I planned to pull on my fleece pants under my skirt and exchange my sweater for a fleece top. But I forgot my clothes and had to just go with just tights under my ski pants and my Easter sweater. No photos, but brrr.

Dinner was delicious. Dessert… well that’s a story for another day.

From April2009