Category Archives: Quotes

>Rock, Paper, Scissors

>Luke said, “Um, Mama? Jack is playing rock, paper, scissors with himself in the mirror.”
I asked, “Who is winning?”
“Um. It’s a tie. But I heard him say, “OK, next time, I be rock and you be scissor. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! NO! I told you to be scissors!””

>Quotes

>Jack: Bye Mommy
Me: Bye Jack
Jack: Love you.
Me: Love you too.
Jack: Thanks for coming over to visit.
Me: I live here.

I think Jack got stuck in his “saying goodbye to Grandmom and Grandad” loop.

***

We met Luke, Grandmom and Grandad at Dave’s softball double header last night. Apparently, on the way there, Luke said to Grandmom, “Grandmom, just so you know, some of my friends will be there, so I will be playing with them.” I guess the phase before you pretend you don’t know your relatives is the phase where you give your relatives a heads up that you’ll be ditching them for your friends.

***

And one more quote from a softball fan in the stands after Dave struck somebody out, “Woohoo! Nolan Ryan! Bringing the heat!”

>Like Dis

>This conversation just happened during a pre-nap diaper change:

Me: Hey we are camping this weekend, so you can just pee on a tree when you need to go to the bathroom.
Jack: I want to pee on a pink tree! Cuz a pink tree is so bootiful. And I could pee on it. Like dis: Peeeeeeeeeeee. And there might be lions there. In the forest. And we could pet them. Like dis: Pet, pet, pet, pet. But you’d say no. And I’d be a baby lion. And you’d be a momma lion. And we could punch each other like dis: punch, punch, punch. Ow! It’s OK. Punch, punch. And storm troopers would come and we’d be on our speeders.

It sort of reminds me of a conversation we had earlier:

Me: Oh, lucky you. It looks like you get to go to the reservoir this summer with daycare!
Jack: I don’t want to go der! Der’s dinosaurs der. And dey might roar at me. Like dis: ROAR! Or dey might stomp der feet at me. Like dis: Stomp stomp stomp.

Also like a conversation we had the other day about Carrie Ann.

Jack: I say, “Can I have more guacamole?” And Carrie-Ma’am says “No.” And then I say, “May I please have more guacamole?” And Carrie-Ma’am says, “Yes you may.” And I get chips too! And I eat the guacamole like dis: Chomp chomp chomp.

>More Quotes

>I recently instituted the Whine Fine. You whine, you owe me 10 cents. Lots of people on facebook had questions about how it was working, so here is the latest. Luke whined, I told him he owed me 10 cents, and he has been so polite ever since that I told him I wasn’t going to collect on it. Jack, on the other hand, pretty much has to pay for college himself based on what he owes me so far.

Today, Luke asked me if Jack also had a whine fine. I said, “Yeah, he owes me a lot of money. But it’s hard for him because he doesn’t even know what 10 cents is.”

Luke said, “10 cents is?! No wonder! He only has 5 senses.”

>At The Park With Jack

>The other day, Jack and I walked to the park with Lucy. It was an epic adventure to say the least.

Notable quotes:

About the old Indian lady walking by in a sari: “Is that a princess?”

About the giant white dog with big pointy ears: “A BUNNY!”

When he was looking for the robin we had seen on the way to the park: “WHERE ARE YOU, ROBIN BIRDIE?”

There we a bunch of tiny cones in the grass at the park, perhaps leftover from the middle school gym class that I sometimes see there. One of the cones was laying on it’s side. Jack said, “I don’t like that cone layin’ on it’s side.” I told him he could go and fix it and he was very happy to do so.

The day before, Jack was repeatedly yelling about how he wanted something. Ice cream, maybe? We were in the car on the way home from work/school so after I told him he could have ice cream after dinner, I just started ignoring his yelling. After a while, he stopped, took a deep breath and said, “I feel impatient.”

So when the yelling started the next day on the way home…
Me: Are you feeling impatient?
Jack:No
Me: Angry?
Jack: No
Me:Upset?
Jack:No.
Me: Crabby?
Jack: Yes.

Oh, and here is a Luke quote for you.
Dave and I were discussing the Grand Canyon, and I said I didn’t want to go there until everyone was at least 12 or something because I was afraid of someone falling to their death. Dave said we wouldn’t have to worry about that if we all rode mules, and that Jack was old enough to ride a mule. I disagreed, since I had seen him fall of a tricycle twice the day before. Luke said, “Why can’t Jack ride a jack ass?”

>No One Wants To Hear About Your Little Genius

>
I doubt someone who blogged all the time about their little genius would have a large following outside of the grandparent contingent. I don’t blog about how my kids are little geniuses for that reason, and because I have a really hard time spelling genius. I really want to spell it like this: genious. But I do have to share these two little stories about how my darling, precocious two year old can read and spell.

Last week, I was changing Jack’s diaper after the usual exchange:

Jack (apropo of nothing): Momma, I’m fine.
Me: What?
Jack: I’m fine.
Me: What does that mean? You just pooped?
Jack: NO! I’M FINE!
Luke: He just said he was pooping a few minutes ago.
Jack: I’m just wet! I don’t need a diaper change.

So off we went to change his diaper, and Jack said: I pooped. P-o-p. Poop.

Yeah, I get that he spelled it wrong, but it’s pretty close right? He isn’t even two and a half! Little potty-mouthed genius.

AND – we went to my favorite place to take the kids that makes them really happy and doesn’t involve me putting on a bathing suit. Yes, Chuck E Cheese. (Or Chuckie Cheese, as Luke still insists on calling it.)

Dave worked about 20 hours straight, and fell asleep around 5am last Saturday. The boys woke up at 6:30. By 8:45 we really needed to get out of the house so I said, “I am taking you somewhere as a surprise. So get your shoes on.”
Luke: Can we guess?
Me: Yes
Luke: But don’t tell us if we guess right.
Me: Ok, I’ll just say, “Interesting suggestion”
Luke: But make sure to say that after every suggestion. Because if you just say, “No, No, No, No, Interesting suggestion” then we will know if we guessed right.
Me:…. OK

ANYWAY – You have to pass Chuck E Cheese and drive all the way around before you get there, and as we drove past, Jack said, “Hmm. Chuck E Cheese’s.”
Me: Can you read? Interesting suggestion.
Luke: He can either read or he can read minds because I was just thinking “Chuck E Cheese” right when he said it.

So, long story short, Jack can almost spell poop, and he can read Chuck E Cheese. If that doesn’t make him a genius, then I don’t even know what a genius is.

And if you are even thinking he recognized it from the mascot, let me share this detail. When he saw the singing and dancing Chuck E Cheese inside, he said, “Stomper!” And here is where I wish I could link to the hilarious story of how last August Jack was scared of/drawn to the mouse/rat mascot of the Lake Erie Crushers: Stomper. But I never got around to blogging about that. Trust me it was a good story.

When we got home from our adventure, Dave was awake, and Jack ran up to him and said, “We saw Stomper!”

So smart, that one.

>Nuffin

>I left a room and when I returned Jack looked up with a devious look on his face. He said,

“Nuffin.”

“Nuffin, what Jack?”

“Nuffin in my mouf.”

“What was in your mouth that isn’t there now.”

“Um. Cake.”

>Star Wars with Thesaurus Boy

>Jack has spent the last two days asking me to open the puppy gate, going downstairs, getting one Star Wars action figure out of Luke’s room, coming back upstairs, asking me to open the gate, and running over to play with the action figure at the dining room table. I think the Star Wars figures have seen more action in 2 days than in the 2 years they have been under Luke’s care. And the whole process has been keeping Jack very busy.

Plus, it is so cute when he rests his hand on my knee and says, “Mom. I need go downstairs get Star Wars. Open gate pease?”

Also cute? When he calls Chewbacca by the similar sounding name of Baracka.

In other Jack news, he woke up a little on the crabby side from his nap again today and I offered him a cookie and milk. I said, “How about this cookie? It’s the biggest one.”

He had a few bites and said, “Dis cookie huge? Dis cookie huge!” (pronounced hooj)
A few more bites and, “Dis cookie giant.”

So now we are working on enormous, titanic, and jumbo.

>Good Night Mama

>As I was putting Jack to bed the other night, we had this conversation:

Mama?
Yes?
Mama?
Yes?
Mama?
What, honey?
Mama?
What?
Mama?
Yes?
Mama?
I love you, Jack.
Mama?
Good night.
Mama?
Do you have something you want to say to me, honey?
Yes.
What is it?
Mama.