Category Archives: Jack

>Dog Interpreter

>When I was little, I once told my parents that I knew what my grandparent’s dog was thinking. It wasn’t earth shattering, I just told them the dog wanted to go out. They asked how I knew that and I said, “He said, ruff ruff, I want to go out.”

They laughed and they laughed. And laughed. Still a funny story, 36 years later.

Yesterday I was wondering what I was thinking when I said that. Was I incredibly bored at my grandparents house and looking for something interesting to do? Could I actually read the dog’s mind? Was I very precocious and adorable? A big fat liar?

And why was I contemplating this? Oh, just a little something Jack said,

“Mommy. Lucy says she wants to watch the Empire Stripes* Back. Right Lucy? Yeah, she says she does.”

* Not a typo.

>Ralphie, I Can’t Get Up

>This is how I have been feeling lately:

From Blog pix

In place of layers and layers of clothes, it’s piles and piles of work. Then I was going to turn this debbie downer blog post around and end with a glorious sledding video, but I can’t get the size right on the video. Very Frustrating!! Argh!!!

OK – I should at least be able to come up with a funny Jack story. OK, so tonight I was reading to Luke while Dave was sitting in the bathroom for hours and hours with Jack helping him figure out how to use the leap pad while he (he=Jack, hope that’s obvious) tried to poop on the potty. Luke and I had finished an entire Magic Treehouse book before they even made it downstairs to brush teeth. Jack was refusing to submit to the toothbrush, and I heard the dreaded Count To Three. At three, Jack lost his bedtime story privileges. Jack’s response:

“No stories? Just cuddling?”

>Today, In Potty Training

>The other day, Jack sat on the potty before nap, and then I put a diaper on him and pulled up his pants. I am trying to keep him in pants that are easy-on/easy-off on the off chance he decides to try to go on his own. We had gone through a few pairs, so the ones he had on were too big and had to be rolled at the waist.

He immediately commenced pre-nap procrastination/fit-throwing.

“Eeeeeh. My PANTS. They aren’t UP!”

“Yes they are, honey. Here, I’ll straighten them.”

“THEY AREN’T UP.”

“It probably just feels funny to wear a diaper after having underwear on all day.”

“NO!!!! MY PANTS aren’t UP. I can’t WALK.”

“Yes, you can, come on downstairs.”

And so on, for the five minutes it took him to walk down to his bedroom. He even stopped once to lean way over to try to figure out what the problem was and almost toppled down the stairs. I grabbed him by the shirt and carried him the rest of the way.

I almost lost my temper, but I am reading a book about happiness and I had a vague memory of some piece of advice and I thought, why lose your temper? So I took a deep breath and said, “OK, maybe I got your diaper on crooked, let me take a look.”

And what did I see? Diaper was fine, pants were fine, but I hadn’t taken off his underwear and they were around his knees.

I burst into hysterical laughter, and fortunately, he did too.

After nap he said, “Remember before nap, how we were giggling? That was funny.”

>Here is How It’s Done

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I was reading stories at bedtime tonight and I was on auto pilot so when Jack said, “Dat what you training me to do?”, I said, “Uh? Potty training, what?” But he was pointing to this picture and saying, “When people are bothering me, you are training me to just walk away.”

And yes, that was my brilliant parenting advice. Instead of hitting or yelling, just walk away! Please feel free to use this advice.

Name the book for bonus points!

>Huff and Puff

>Jack and I tried to make a video of The Big Bad Wolf, and it turned into a series of outtakes, as you would expect. We had huffing and puffing in one, but not “I’m gonna huff, and I’m gonna puff!”. In another, we had the dialog, but no action. This one is the best, it has action and a scary wolf face, but no dialog. But I think it gets the message across.

>Aaaand one more Jack’s Birthday Post

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I love how Lucy’s tail starts wagging at the end. And about the cake… It was dry. I decreased the baking powder (3 teaspoons instead of 3,5) and the sugar (buy 1/4 cup out of 3 cups or something), but I didn’t increase the liquid. Maybe that was the problem. I was pretty sad about it, but it didn’t stop my from having cake for breakfast the day after Jack’s birthday.

>Mini-Dave

>Dave has a little mini-me. And his mini-me wants to play outside after dinner in the dark and cold. “Can I go outside with a flashlight and play football?” His mini-me woke me up this morning to show me the snow, because the first snowfall of the season when you are almost three is sort of like the first snowfall ever. I had only been asleep for 2 hours, but I had to “look at the snow on the van first and then look at the snow on the car.” It was 6:30 this morning and there was about half an inch of snow. Mini-Dave said, “Can we go skiiing?” I said, “Well honey, I think it needs to snow a little more.” Thirty seconds passed as we watched the snow fall. He said, “How about now?”