Category Archives: Jack

>Last Day of Kindergarten

>So many boring details about my life so little time to post. Consider yourself spared!

I did shed a tear or two on Luke’s last day of kindergarten. It seems like the first day was just yesterday! I put him in the same shirt for the last day of school, but we had to go with a different pair of shorts, because he actually grew out of a pair of shorts for the first time ever.

Speaking of how Luke never grows out of shorts, I put Jack in a pair of 18 months shorts and I thought to myself, “Hmm. I think Luke wore these until he was four. For some reason I don’t see that happening with Jack.”

And then, as I was digging through the unfolded clean clothes pile for shorts for Luke, I decided to play a joke on Luke and I handed him a pair of Jack’s pants (size 12 months) to wear instead. He didn’t notice. I had to tell him.

I wish I could link to a picture of him wearing these pants 5 years ago, but they aren’t really that cute, so the only picture I have is on a Christmas ornament that the daycare made.

>Haircut

>It was Saturday Hair Cut Day at Casa de MetaMegan this past weekend. I wanted to take Before and After pictures for my blog, but I couldn’t find my camera, and the charger for my cell (camera) phone had been lost for weeks. Dave said if I used his camera phone, then he’d be the one to blog about it. Curses. I found my phone charger and my camera just minutes after they left, so all I really have is the After picture, and we’ll have to just imagine the Before. Luke’s choices were buzz cut or nothing, because he barely needed a haircut. He chose the buzz cut, probably just to get the free sucker and then yesterday he said he didn’t like how his hair feels like a fuzzy ball. But then again, he was also upset about having long eyelashes, and after he blew his nose for 5 minutes straight, he was really angry when I said, “Watch out, your brain might come out.”

But look how cute they are, post haircut!

The trend in Boulder is a shaggy haired look for boys, but Dave and I have, thus far, been able to steer clear of that trend. Don’t get me wrong, we are dirty hippies like the rest of this town, but I just don’t want to deal with tangles in my sons’ hair. (Aside – We cut up half a burrito at dinner the other night, and then became engrossed in adult conversation while the boys ate. Next thing we knew, the rest of Jack’s burrito had been ripped open and he had beans* all over his face. And the burrito was an empty shell. The waiter said to Jack, “Um, you have a little something on your face…” I said, “Don’t worry, it’s bath night.” And the waiter said, “And that is… once a week?” “No, twice a week!” “Oh, Ok.” )

But back to the haircuts, Jack was looking especially cute on the morning before his haircut. (You know when your hair is perfect, and you are almost tempted to cancel your appointment, but you know if you do, you’ll look like Medusa every day for the next month while you try to reschedule? What? No, that’s never happened to me.) Then I had the best idea when Dave asked me how I wanted Jack’s hair to look. So I ran to find my latest InStyle magazine and I tore out a picture and said, “Have his hair cut to look like this:

Wait, that isn’t a good example, I mean, it should look like this:


And do you know what Dave said? He said, “No.” And he said it sort of derisively. Just short of scorn. He said, “I am not getting his hair cut to look like that. That is what his hair looks like now. That is why I am taking him to get his hair cut.”

Hmm. Well. Now what am I supposed to do with that magazine picture? Hang it up in my locker? Well, just like C, N, S and B, I am not in high school anymore.** Would it be weird if I hung it up in my cube at work? Just kidding, I never ripped it out of the magazine. I couldn’t risk tearing it!


* I capitalized Bean at first. Sigh.
** Since I wasn’t able to impress anyone with my one degree of seperation from Gossip Girl, I’ll just assume no one gets this.

>So Sleepy

>I was composing a hilarious post while I did some work this evening… But it isn’t finished yet and I am so sleepy. How sleepy am I? This sleepy:

>MetaMegan: Grounded Until The Taxes Are Filed

>I really, really need to get the taxes done. I’d be working on them right now, but long story short, I am working on work. So, as soon as I finish this fun project, I am moving on to the taxes, and no blogging allowed until I am finished!

But coming soon:
1.) Several months of backlog of Panic Attack Magazine
2.) Luke week, in which I focus on cute things about Luke so he doesn’t have to go into therapy when he reads my blog and it sounds like I am always talking about his brother. Before I forget – today we had this exchange:
Me: We need to try on some shorts to make sure you have some pairs that fit before we go to Mexico.
Luke: Eye roll
Me: Unless you just want to wear your bathing suit the whole time
Luke: No, because then girls be saying, “Wow, those are some pretty funny shorts you are wearing.”
Me: (thought balloon) Uh… Huh?? Wha?? Girls???
3.) Jack’s reaction to hand me down sandals
4.) My fun sewing project.

That is all for now. Wish me luck with the taxes.

Here is a picture of my baby hippo to tide you over:

From March

>Marking His Territory

>Is everyone sick of the whole thing where I talk about how Jack is possessed by Bean? Are you like, “We know, we know. Your baby barks. Quit beating it with a dead horse (as my friend Holly was known to say)”?

Well I have just one more story.

Today I was trying to change a diaper when I realized I did not have a diaper within arms reach. Because I was in the living room. I said, “Luke, please run and grab a diaper. Jack, don’t pee.”

But then Jack got a glint in his eye, and a set in his jaw, and there was a little something about his stance, so I said, “LUKE! Please hurry with that diaper! Jack, don’t pee, don’t pee, don’t pee!”

Luke sauntered in with the diaper some time after Jack had taken 3 steps back and peed on the tiny 5×8 rug, the only area on the main floor where the wood floor is covered.

I was shaking my fist at the heavens. No! No! No!

Luke said, resignedly, “Mom, Jack only peed there because that is where Bean used to pee.”

(In other news, it may be time for potty training.)

>Luke, Luke, Does Not Like Puke

>Luke and Jack and I were playing hot wheels in Luke’s room on Sunday. It was a really fun time! Until Jack sort of threw up on Luke’s carpeting. Luke jumped up, screamed, ran in some circles, and then ran screaming out of the room and continued carrying on elsewhere in the house. I grabbed a kleenex and wiped up the tiny mess while Jack and I snickered at Luke.

Luke finally came back and asked, “Is it over? Is he done puking? Is the mess cleaned up? Ugh! My carpet! Jack puked on my carpet!”

Then Jack looked at me, leaned over and pretended to throw up, but in actuality, just spit onto the carpet. Luke ran screaming from the room and Jack just looked at me and started snickering again.

>15 Month Checkup

>Luke recently had his 15 month check up and the milestone checklist went like this:

Q.How many words does he know?
A.10
Q. Has he put two words together?
A. Yes. (This isn’t really true, it just sounded true to me at the time. Unless “Ruff, Gwirl” counts.)
Q. Can he stack blocks?
A. Yes.
Q. 4 blocks?
A. No
Q. Two blocks?
A. Yes
Q. If you put a crayon in his hand does he scribble?
A. Yes
Q. etc. etc. etc
A. Yes. Yes. Yes
Q. Does he imitate you doing housework?
A. ? (queue crickets chirping.)

OK. of course I said yes. As you can see above, I assume that Jack is a borderline genius, or at least on track, so the answer to all questions must be yes, so I don’t have to think about them very hard. I was obsessed with Luke’s milestones, and I know he was behind on the block stacking, so I was surprised when I saw Jack stack a block and I made a mental note of it for the checkup. But as usual, I answered yes to everything and then came home and ran through the list with Dave and friends to see where I had exaggerated. We agreed that he isn’t really putting two words together. And that, “does he imitate you doing housework?” seems to be a question left over from an earlier era.

He imitates me working on my laptop. He imitates me talking on the phone. He takes knives out of the dishwasher. But that is probably less about imitating and more about augmenting his weapons cache that I can only imagine is somewhere behind some curtains, with his emergency food supplies. Also, when Aunt Suzy said, “Come here kitty” and patted her knees, Jack patted his knees. So clearly, he can imitate people… But hmm, housework?

Now I could go two ways with this:
1.) How sexist! Why ask if he can imitate me doing housework? Why not ask about the million other things I do? Why not just ask if he imitates me?
2.) Ha ha ha, I never do housework, so how could he even know how to imitate me?

But the more I think about it, the more I think that it would be great if Jack was imitating me doing housework. While it’s true that I am not the best housekeeper in the world, and it’s also true that I outsource a lot of the housekeeping, I still do a lot of housekeeping, and so does Dave. But a lot of it happens after kids are in bed, during nap time, and before they wake up in the morning. And maybe if more of that happened when the kids were awake, then there would be more imitating. And by imitating I mean, I can’t believe I have two little indentured servants in the house and I haven’t been making them work for their keep!

>Bean

>I have had a few posts about how Bean is sort of still with us, because Jack acts like Bean all the time. He rummages through peoples bags looking for crackers, hides food behind the curtain, ransacks the lazy susan, barks at squirrels, eats crumbs off the floor, etc. But lately I started thinking that since Jack was there when Bean died, that maybe something supernatural occurred. Instead of thinking that it is as if Bean is still with us, I am thinking that Bean really is still with us. I think I could re-remake the Shaggy D.A. into a movie with a baby that’s really a dog. (The concept needs some work.)

I suppose most of those things listed above are normal baby activities, except for the barking at squirrels. At this age, Luke could copy every animal sound I made, and perform them on demand. Lion=roar, Cow=moo, etc. Now Jack hears a bird in the wilderness, or a train miles away, or a siren, or the dishwasher running and can imitate it perfectly. But after 3 days with his Aunt Suzy and Grandmom and kitty cat Cleo, he would still not meow. But he would chase the cat and bark at her.

But what I think really clinched it for me with this whole Bean possession thing, is that today while I was making dinner, Jack got hungry and impatient and so he crawled under his high chair and started whining.

>Who Needs A Puppy?

>http://www.youtube.com/get_player

Jack keeps getting into the lazy susan, he never met a food scrap he didn’t like, he’s been known to did through guests purses to sneak snacks, and well, he barks at squirrels. Or gwirls, as he calls them. So we miss Bean, but sometimes we think he may be trying to speak to us through Jack.

Yesterday at breakfast there was a lot of barking (uf, uf) and pointing at the gwirls outside, so I had to get out the camera, even though Jack was covered in food. Too cute.

Then I tried to get him to film some of his other tricks. Jack loves to pretend to talk on the phone, and he loves to imitate sounds. The other day, he was making a weird sound while we were walking into the house and I stopped to listen. I determined he was imitating a train way off in the distance. Here, Dave is dialing the phone and he imitates that, then as soon as it rings, he has to pretend to answer. If you’ve been pranked by a baby recently from my cell phone, it may have been Jack. In other news, my cell phone no longer works.

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

>The Best Thing Ever

>I don’t want to get into some sort of silly gender stereotyping, where I imply that men can never find anything, because I only know my own experiences. My own experience, is that Dave and Luke can never find anything. Sometimes they just ask me where something is without even looking. And I’ll say, “It’s on the end table next to the red chair in the basement” or “On the middle shelf of the refrigerator, half way back.” And then sometimes that isn’t enough and I have to actually use my finger and point directly to the lost item.

SO! Imagine my surprise the other day, when Jack and I were in the living room and I said, “Jack. Where are your shoes?” And then I walked to Jack’s room, looked for the shoes, didn’t find them, and then walked back to the living room. And what did I see? I am not even sure the world is ready for this. Ready? Jack was holding up his shoes.

I know. It was the best thing ever.