I may be about to jinx myself into writers block, but events transpired today to assure me that I will not soon run out of material for this blog. Earlier today, my friend said, “i just picked up a piece of garbage flying around the yard that says our block party is saturday.” And I said, “Can I pretend it happened to me? I don’t have a blog post for tomorrow yet. ” But then an exciting thing happened. Wine was delivered to me at work! I drunkenly joined a wine club in Napa 2 years ago to get 20% off all my purchases that day. The plan was to quit when I got home. Woo hoo, 20% off! Then I thought, why not just get one shipment and then cancel? So four times a year I get wine shipped to me at work (can’t be shipped at home because an adult has to sign for it.) I always think, “Yea! wine! I’ll plan a special meal and drink delicious wine with it! Then I make my usual weekly menu of pizza, spaghetti, tofu stir fry, chicken something, leftovers, burritos, and The Southern Sun. I did recently make risotto and had to use some good wine and it was soooo good. But mostly, I am accidentally building up a collection of wine by not canceling my wine club membership, not drinking the good wine because I never plan a good meal, and then buying Red Truck whenever it’s on sale and drinking it with pizza.
ANYWAY, my wine arrived today, and I picked it up on the way back from the lactation room. I always mean to bring some sort of milk satchel, with which to conceal the expressed breast milk, but it’s not that hard to conceal 3 ounces in the palm of your hand. Unless you are carrying a box of wine. So I picked up the wine, and laid the ziplock bag of milk across the top of the box and went on my merry way across the parking lot back to my office, contemplating the blood of life, and mothers milk. It was sunny, and I was smiling. I smiled at the VP in the suit when I walked in, and he even seemed about to smile back at me when I tripped and the bag of milk went flying and landed at his feet.
That was the conversation we had instead. Very professional. I snatched up the milk and ran away. Stopped at my bosses office and had this conversation:
“I just tripped right in front of [VP] while carrying milk and a box of wine.”
“I hope you saved the wine.”
“I did save the wine, but the milk is more valuable!”
“Is it? You can always make more milk.”
Fortunately the milk survived too. My dignity on the other hand? Not so much.
(Photo Credit to either Melanie or Jill who took this picture after we were bullied into a tour at Gundlach Bundschu)