Jack and I were hiking last week and he kindly offered to tutor me in the art of coolness.

Jack:  Mama, do you want me to teach you how to be cool?  Because I am cool, and I could show you how to be cool.

Me: Is that something you can teach someone? It seems to me that you are cool or you’re not, and it’s not something that can be taught.

Jack: AAAAAHHH! Help me!  My helmet is caught in a tree branch.

Me: Stop, I’ll pull you free.

…and scene…

Why was he wearing a helmet?  No reason.

I never did get that lesson though.