I just redacted a giant history of MetaMegan and weight issues to get right to the point, because, really.

I am on a new exercise/diet plan.  The exercise part is a two day a week weight training program that I am working on with a trainer.  The diet was supposed to be that I eat the way I normally do, but sort of stay aware of what I am eating and be reasonable.  But has anyone ever known me to be reasonable?  I really don’t like to “pay attention to what I am eating” so if I am doing that, it means I try to eat as little as possible, and that always backfires.  Usually pretty spectacularly, with me flying into a rage over someone leaving a bag of pretzels out on the counter.  I barely even like pretzels, but if the bag is open on the counter, and I am at a huge calorie deficit, and I eat pretzels without even thinking about it, someone is going to hear me freak out.  And by “someone” I mean, my family and any neighbor in a 100 yard radius.

So, today, I went to the gym, then came home and had coffee and oatmeal with skim milk.  Then I went to work, with a lunch I had packed.  I usually go shopping at noon on my days in the office, so I thought I would eat a quick lunch before noon.  On my way to the microwave, I was thinking,  “Wow, that oatmeal really did the trick.  I am barely even hungry yet.  Still,  I should eat before I get really starving.  Tra la la, this diet is going really well.”

Then I put my lunch in the microwave and started to to figure out how the microwave works, when I saw the time. 

It was 10:45.